Early morning on Saturday 14th May 2016 Cade and I arrived at John Hunter Hospital to begin the slow induction process. I was already almost 2 weeks overdue and so ready to meet our little girl! The midwife checked me and just like the previous few checks my cervix was still very high (they couldn't reach it) and closed. They tried the best they could to get the cervadil in place and informed me that I would need to stay in hospital as bubba's head was still high and loose in my pelvis. They were worried about cord prolapse. I was soon transferred to a bed in the post natal ward and we spent the day doing wordsearches and going for long walks. I was lucky to have my mother in law and sister Kaitlan with me from Melbourne. She had been staying with us a couple weeks already and was due to go home the next day! We didn't want her to miss out on the birth.
Throughout the afternoon I was feeling tightenings but nothing more than what I had been feeling over the last week or so and when visiting time was over, my support crew went home. I didn't sleep much as the tightening slowly became stronger and stronger. By about 3am I was very uncomfortable and it was hard to sit still through the tightenings. The midwives suggested I take a shower and I spent a loooong time in there under the warm water! The gang came back at about 7am when the cervadil was due to be taken out and the next induction method - the balloon was to be put in. We waited and waited in the day clinic for a doctor to come and all the while my tightenings were getting more intense but were fairly irregular. I would have two tightenings back to back and then a break and then two tightenings etc. At 11am we had still seen no doctor and the contractions were pretty full on. I suddenly felt a release/pop that scared the crap out of me and everyone in the room! My waters had broken and it was game on. I was transferred up to the birthing suite and because I had tested positive for Group B Strep, I was hooked up to the antibiotics. All the while the doctors were a little worried about baby's heart rate during the contractions but I think by this time she had descended and wasn't so high. The contractions were intense and I was still getting two back to back and then a small break before two more. I started on the gas but it made me very emotional and every time I had a little panic attack/episode, bubs heart rate dropped. I remember telling everyone I hated it and always felt like I was a couple minutes behind everyone's conversations.
I had Ann on my left with a soft, peaceful touch and voice, Cade on my right as my punching bag and Kaitlan stood at the end of my bed. I focused very intently on her big brown eyes while she breathed in and out with me. I remember one time she looked down at her phone during a contraction and I yelled at her for breaking eye contact and told her to put her phone away haha sorry Kaity!! I also remember at one point asking the doctor if she was wearing contacts and said she had very pretty coloured eyes. What a losty. There was one point, I'm not exactly sure what happened but I just remember losing focus a bit and the midwife hit the buzzer to call the doctors and I felt like I was being pulled back down a black tunnel and everyone was getting further and further away. Somebody - probably cade - pulled the gas out of my mouth and when I got back into the room there were doctors everywhere! Bubs heart rate had dropped significantly and they decided to put some clips on her head to get a better heart rate reading. At this point I was 6 cms dilated, over the gas and ready for an epidural. The epidural came at around 5pm....I had waited hourrrrrrsssss!! Or at least it felt like it. That all went smoothly and almost immediately I was pain free and loving life! I was glad I got it and it gave me a chance to rest and recover for what was still to come. I hadn't slept since Thursday night and it was now Sunday evening! By midnight I was fully dilated and ready to push. I pushed for about half an hour but bubba wasn't budging and with every push her heart rate dropped and dropped. At some point there the clips on her head came off and they had to put new ones on but one of the midwives said she could see her head. We were so excited! After a bit more pushing it was decided she wasn't coming on her own and the doctors were ready to try forceps and there was talk of a possible cesarean as they were really worried now about her being in distress.
I was wheeled off to theatre where they would attempt the forceps and if that did not work, I would be ready for a cesarean. The doctors assured me though that they were 90% sure they could get her out with the forceps. My epidural had started to wear off so they tried to top me up ready for a C-section. But for some reason it wasn't working down my left side. They put another dose in, heaved me up on my side, waited for it to circulate and then tried the prick test again. Still could feel it. They did this about 5 times but with no success. The doctors said they would then put me under general anaesthetic for the C-Section but I was not keen on the idea as it would mean Cade would have to leave and I wanted to be awake! I think they were pretty reluctant but it was decided that if the forceps didn't work then they would quickly try a spinal tap before the surgery. Welllll,,,,,I had two doctors try with the forceps when they then discovered her head was in the wrong position and there was no way she was going to come through my pelvis. They manually tried to turn her head but to no avail! C-Section is was. It's the strangest feeling having no control over your body and having to try and sit upright on the edge of a bed with strangers supporting you while the spinal was going in so you don't fall off! Finally the green sheet went up and we were told our bubba would be here in a matter of minutes! And then there was silence.......and more silence.....and more silence.....I started to get worried! My body was rocking back and forth with the force of the doctors trying to get her out. Finally at 2.37am we were told she was out but there was still this ominous silence. Cade asked if he could see her but he wasn't allowed to yet. She was born blue and they had to get her straight on the oxygen! We waited anxiously and finally cade was allowed to go see her. He kept taking photos of her on his phone and bringing them back to me so I could see her as I was being stitched up. By this time I was feeling pretty ill and they had to keep stopping while my body was heaving as I puked. I had also got the shakes and that was the worrrrst! I literally had no control over anything and couldn't stop shaking! They finally brought her over to me and I got to hold her for the first time. I was sooooo exhausted but so relieved she was finally here. We did it! She was born 8 pound 4 ounces and 54cms long on Monday 16th May.
We were wheeled to recovery where Mumma Triff and Kaitlan were allowed back in and it wasn't long before a bed was ready for us in the ward. The doctor who did my surgery debriefed with me but then returned in the morning because she said I was way out of it and she could tell I wasn't taking in anything she was saying! So, she informed me that because we had gotten to pushing stage Milly was very far down in my pelvis and they struggled to pull her back up (no wonder my body was rocking so much!). They had to do a T incision in my uterus and when they had finally pulled her up, she had flipped and had to be pulled out in breech position. She was a slippery little sucker!! Fair to say I was pretty bruised the next few days. Everything hurt and the slightest pressure felt like my insides were going to fall out! And the rest is a long slow recovery supported by amazing family and friends!
It was long and hard but I wouldn't have done anything differently. And although I have cesareans from now on, I don't feel like I'm missing out by not having a natural birth. At the end of the day, Milly's head was not coming through my pelvis and if we didn't have access to a cesarean, both of us wouldn't be here! We are so blessed to have medicine and procedures that help support life. Every birth is beautiful no matter what the circumstance. And I'm pretty stoked I never have to feel a contraction again.
Emelia is an angel baby and was sleeping through the night from about 6 weeks. She is such a happy girl and we hardly ever hear her cry. We just adore her and she has made the transition to motherhood so much easier!
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